From Xs & Os to Baby Highs & Lows: Jerel's Playbook for Fatherhood Freshmen

Motherhood can be a nailbiter. It is beautiful yet equally as challenging but if you are blessed enough to have an active, patient, and reliable teammate, you can pummel through every hurdle, live in every moment, and relish in the power of being a Mother. My husband, Jerel, has given Béya and I that blessing.

We need him in every aspect of our lives and the happiness in our home is a testament to the caliber of a father and husband he is.

Most often, Dads get lost behind the joy of welcoming the new life that came into the world and they are hardly given any attention compared to the Mom and Baby, who desperately need it. The internet, especially social media, is inundated with tips for new Moms, and rightfully so, so you have to look a little harder to find tips for Dads who need and deserve guidance themselves. So new Dads, expectant Dads, Dads in the making - we hope Jerel’s playbook with his experience and views on marriage and fatherhood gives you an advantage and/or gets you excited for the joys you can expect.

What is your favorite part about being a Dad?The best thing about being a Dad is watching Béya grow, try new challenging things and achieve them.

What has been the most challenging part about being a Dad?The most challenging part about being a Dad is that you feel like you’re not doing enough.

What is your best piece of advice to new Dads? I want Dads to give themselves grace and know that you will make mistakes. Honestly you will make a lot of them but remember you’re doing something you’ve never done or experienced before.

What is your favorite memory with Béya so far?

My favorite memory with Béya honestly happens every day when I come home, and she screams and runs towards me. Yeah, we been on trips and have had beautiful experiences, but this memory will always be my favorite.

How has Béya made you a better man, father and husband?  

Having a daughter, specifically, gives you the ok to be gentle, which I truly needed since everything I do is so masculine and macho. I’m a football Coach but more importantly now I’m Béya’s Daddy.

What came as a complete surprise to you from finding out we were pregnant to now, our life with a toddler?

The biggest surprise has been how much sleep we use to get compared to now. Parents always warned us that we would never sleep the same, but it’s still a surprise that hit us.

How has our marriage changed since having Baby Girl?

It has, in my eyes, confirmed daily that God made my wife for me and my daughter. My wife had to guide me in a lot of areas on what a girl needs from her father and put a lot of things into perspective about having a baby girl. I am more in tune to what a woman and a girl needs, and it has helped us a lot.

What is your advice to husbands with pregnant wives?

Don’t just be there next to her- be an active participant in her pregnancy. Y’all are pregnant, not just her. It makes a huge difference because she will always remember how you treated her during a pregnancy and resent you if you didn’t pull your weight. And remember your child is inside her so every emotion she feels your baby feels too.

What is your advice to husbands on supporting their wives during postpartum?

Do your research. As a man I fell short in this department and wish I understood what my wife was truly going through. Proactively try to assist as much as you can with what you can. No you can’t breastfeed, and sometimes your baby will only want their Mom but you can prepare the bottles, wash the bottles, feed her healthy foods, keep her active, and do chores so she doesn’t have to.

What do you want Béya to grow up knowing about her Daddy?

I want my child to know that Daddy’s only true dream in life was to be father and a husband. And you made his dream come true.

What do you want your wife to always know and/or keep in mind when it comes to you as a Husband and Father?

I want you to understand that I take pride in being your husband and being a father. I’m not a man of a lot of emotions but you are my purpose. You crowned me with being your husband and the father of your child and that’s the highest honor in the world to me. I pray daily for God to guide me in this journey of being the leader of this family. I love you and need you in my life.

Who was your biggest influence /inspiration to become a great Father and why?

Truly it comes down to two men. My stepfather Frederick Wells and my High School Head Football Coach Averion Hurts. Both gave me so much guidance on being a great man by being a living example of a real man and taking care of people that they truly had no obligation to. They are true definitions of providers and don’t seek glory for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Thank you to mine and Béya’s MVP - we couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do life without you. The smiles on our faces tell you that you are a great Father and Husband, the greatest, in our books. Fathers - you are an essential part of society and, more importantly, your home. We thank you, appreciate you, see you, and pray you stay encouraged.

Consciously Yours,

Mel & Rel

We welcome your comments and more questions below!